The 36th Blogger of Shaolin

Shaolin shadow blogging and the Wu Tang sword style

3 notes

Anonymous asked: Hey man, are you gonna do a Donnie Yen, birthday tribute post?

I’m not going to be on Tumblr much today, so I might post a few things up tomorrow instead.

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Anonymous asked: Hey, man. I just saw Donnie Yen has an upcoming movie 'Kung Fu Jungle', have you seen the trailer? I know you've talked about Yen before, any thoughts?

I posted the trailer early this week. It looks really, really promising. Like a kung fu “Silence of the Lambs.”

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Anonymous asked: drunken master is on netflix and i watched it the other day and didn't realize how much jackie chan completely whoops the final bad guys ass. Its one of my favorite fight scenes.

The first one? I had no idea it was on Netflix.
I actually like Hwang Jang Lee in the last fight and feel like it’s pretty even until Jackie pulls out the big guns towards the end.
But yeah, it’s an amazing fight scene with some awesome moments.

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Anonymous asked: Any thoughts on Count Bass D?

The “Dwight Spitz” album should be a certified classic in everybody’s mind. That whole album us dope.
I love his production but, admittedly, I haven’t liked all his albums. He’s pretty solid though.

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"The Expendables 3" Review
"The Expendables 3" is a film desperately trying to fit in a box it no longer fits in. While the first two installments had enough nudging and winking to keep most audiences entertained, the third film spirals into chaos and fails to manage its massive cast. It’s bizarre.It opens with the crew we’re oh-so-familiar with springing a certain well known face out of bring locked up on a train. I’m not saying who this person is but if he was a passenger on the train, he’d be “Passenger 57.”The opening is big and silly and GOOD. It’s fun to see Stallone, Statham, Crews and the rest of them shooting the shit out if people and making random things explode. And once the prisoner is freed, it gets even better. Seeing him - okay…it’s Wesley Snipes. Seeing Snipes back in action like he never lost it is great.So what happens next? It doesn’t really matter. Barney Ross (Sly Stallone) sees Mel Gibson”s character but, UH OH, Mel Gibson’s character is meant to be dead! So Barney decides to go after him alone…for no reason. But he doesn’t go alone. He gets a bunch of young, rookies to accompany him. Is any of this making sense? No, didn’t think so.The rookies are computer guy, Victor Ortiz (who’s sassy), the buff vampire from “Twilight” and Ronda Rousey.They go after Mel Gibson and…blah, blah, blah. It’s all cookie cutter stuff for the most part.
My problems wit the film are many but one of the main ones is that every actor in this film, bar one or two, has about five minutes of screen time…literally. Jet Li has about thirty seconds and he doesn’t kick or punch a single person. Dolph Lundgren fades in and out and does nothing. Terry Crews? He’s taken out early on and doesn’t even appear in the film for the rest of the time.This isn’t an Expendables film. It’s a shitty action film with the actors from “The Expendables” making cameos, save for Sylvester Stallone."But how is the action?” It’s shit. You’ve never seen a PG-13 film want to be an R-rated film this much. Every gunshot is edited so that we don’t really see the damage being done. It all becomes a generic mess with action right out of “The A Team.” Ronda Rousey does nothing. She’s given about six lines and when she does finally use her martial arts skills, it’s edited choppily and just looks utterly bland. I feel sorry for the woman as she seems to have charisma. It’s just not on display here.And don’t even ask me about the other rookies. They’re all the same character. They fire machine guns, blow shit up and then, at one point, the vampire guy steals a motorbike and goes on this ridiculous, twin machine gun wielding motocross performance. Sound good? It’s not. It’s an absolute bloody nightmare.So what is good about the film? Not much. Antonio Banderas is GREAT. He acts as the comical relief and pulls it off perfectly. He’s the only character with character and I’d watch a full film as him playing this guy.Schwarzenegger is in it for six minutes and actually says the line, “GET TO DA CHOPPA!” but that’s not surprising since, early on, Snipes makes a tax evasion joke. GET IT? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The action isn’t even that bad. It’s just…nothing. We’ve seen it all before and there’s absolutely nothing new here. In fact, I’d blame the blandness of the film on the director.. He’s just not good,Everything is half-arsed and lazy. A CGI helicopter chase looks laughable, people hit by knives are so far away you can’t actually see anything and the film is 90% stunt doubles running from gunfire.
Oh, they do make a pretty snappy Bruce Willis joke though.
Don’t go and see this at the cinema. It feels like a Syfy movie and is so average you’ll only want your money back. It really is a nightmare.And I enjoyed the first two films. In fact, compared to this, the second one is an action masterpiece. "The Expendables 3" isn’t big and silly, it’s small and tiresome. It’s packed full of Hollywood stars and doesn’t feel like Hollywood. It feels like a direct-to-DVD film made in the 90’s. Avoid spending cash on this and watch it years from now when you’re desperately in need of a film and it feels like you’ve watched everything on Netflix. And even in that situation this may still feel pretty bad.
GRADE: D

"The Expendables 3" Review

"The Expendables 3" is a film desperately trying to fit in a box it no longer fits in. While the first two installments had enough nudging and winking to keep most audiences entertained, the third film spirals into chaos and fails to manage its massive cast. It’s bizarre.
It opens with the crew we’re oh-so-familiar with springing a certain well known face out of bring locked up on a train. I’m not saying who this person is but if he was a passenger on the train, he’d be “Passenger 57.”
The opening is big and silly and GOOD. It’s fun to see Stallone, Statham, Crews and the rest of them shooting the shit out if people and making random things explode. And once the prisoner is freed, it gets even better. Seeing him - okay…it’s Wesley Snipes. Seeing Snipes back in action like he never lost it is great.
So what happens next? It doesn’t really matter. Barney Ross (Sly Stallone) sees Mel Gibson”s character but, UH OH, Mel Gibson’s character is meant to be dead! So Barney decides to go after him alone…for no reason. But he doesn’t go alone. He gets a bunch of young, rookies to accompany him. Is any of this making sense? No, didn’t think so.
The rookies are computer guy, Victor Ortiz (who’s sassy), the buff vampire from “Twilight” and Ronda Rousey.
They go after Mel Gibson and…blah, blah, blah. It’s all cookie cutter stuff for the most part.

My problems wit the film are many but one of the main ones is that every actor in this film, bar one or two, has about five minutes of screen time…literally. Jet Li has about thirty seconds and he doesn’t kick or punch a single person. Dolph Lundgren fades in and out and does nothing. Terry Crews? He’s taken out early on and doesn’t even appear in the film for the rest of the time.
This isn’t an Expendables film. It’s a shitty action film with the actors from “The Expendables” making cameos, save for Sylvester Stallone.
"But how is the action?” It’s shit. You’ve never seen a PG-13 film want to be an R-rated film this much. Every gunshot is edited so that we don’t really see the damage being done. It all becomes a generic mess with action right out of “The A Team.” Ronda Rousey does nothing. She’s given about six lines and when she does finally use her martial arts skills, it’s edited choppily and just looks utterly bland. I feel sorry for the woman as she seems to have charisma. It’s just not on display here.
And don’t even ask me about the other rookies. They’re all the same character. They fire machine guns, blow shit up and then, at one point, the vampire guy steals a motorbike and goes on this ridiculous, twin machine gun wielding motocross performance. Sound good? It’s not. It’s an absolute bloody nightmare.
So what is good about the film? Not much. Antonio Banderas is GREAT. He acts as the comical relief and pulls it off perfectly. He’s the only character with character and I’d watch a full film as him playing this guy.
Schwarzenegger is in it for six minutes and actually says the line, “GET TO DA CHOPPA!” but that’s not surprising since, early on, Snipes makes a tax evasion joke. GET IT? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The action isn’t even that bad. It’s just…nothing. We’ve seen it all before and there’s absolutely nothing new here. In fact, I’d blame the blandness of the film on the director.. He’s just not good,
Everything is half-arsed and lazy. A CGI helicopter chase looks laughable, people hit by knives are so far away you can’t actually see anything and the film is 90% stunt doubles running from gunfire.

Oh, they do make a pretty snappy Bruce Willis joke though.

Don’t go and see this at the cinema. It feels like a Syfy movie and is so average you’ll only want your money back. It really is a nightmare.
And I enjoyed the first two films. In fact, compared to this, the second one is an action masterpiece.
"The Expendables 3" isn’t big and silly, it’s small and tiresome. It’s packed full of Hollywood stars and doesn’t feel like Hollywood. It feels like a direct-to-DVD film made in the 90’s. Avoid spending cash on this and watch it years from now when you’re desperately in need of a film and it feels like you’ve watched everything on Netflix. And even in that situation this may still feel pretty bad.

GRADE: D

Filed under The Expendables 3 Review

2 notes

shaundillon asked: Were you disappointed by bodyguards and assassins? I know I was.

I actually haven’t seen it. I might watch it for the first time today.

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Anonymous asked: honestly i did not expect you to be white. not a problem, just didn't expect it

I’ve gotten that a number of times on here. For some reason, people tend to think I’m black.

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sadiron-soleplate asked: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!! You're in the DMV?

Yes sir/ma’am. I’m in the DMV area.